Being in love is the best feeling.
Where I feel people go wrong, is two fold: assuming that being in love is the same as loving them, and then assuming that being in love obligates them to some sort of action.
I love being in love. I love feeling those ego boundaries fall, and being so open. It’s hard to think of a better experience than that.
Being in love is a state, and a temporary one, at that. And that’s okay. The delicious deluge of brain chemicals is a temporary, mind-altering experience. I think the trick is to let it happen to you, feel it, and let it change your mind.
No action is required.
Now, I know your brain is going to be screaming at you: “No, I need to do something! I need to tell her/him/them. I need to hold their hand, I need to be with them.”
No, you don’t. You don’t need to.
You may want to, but you don’t need to.
Try just feeling it. Swim in that sea of dopamine. Drown in that perfection. Just feel it, be totally present with it. Enjoy it, because it is so temporary. Try to enjoy the feeling, without your needs get in the way.
What would that be like?
Verbs and Nouns
That said — being in love can lead to love, if you want it to. That’s a choice you could make. But they aren’t the same thing.
Being in love is a state of mind, but loving someone is an action. Being in love is a unconscious shower of sparking synapses, but love is something that you do 100% consciously with your actions.
They don’t need to love you back. That’s okay. Love is unselfish like that.
Love is the background motivation for extending yourself for the good of someone else. It’s the action.