Kink advice question: I’m watching porn, and there’s no way these girls are doing this willingly. Am I taking advantage of their situation?
Answer: There’s a couple of issues with this.
Firstly: yes, I know that the porn industry can be awful and manipulative. Like many industries run by humans, there is a certain group that will exploit actors’ and actresses’ desperation. There are those who will abuse the naive and violate boundaries.
This exists. I’m not denying that.
But I want to reiterate that these are actors. They are paid to play a part. They are paid to act, just like straight movies and theater.
Porn actors just happen to do it with their clothes off.
What you’re seeing isn’t reality, any more than watching Spiderman sail through the skyscrapers of New York.
Non-consent
That said, are you specifically seeking out non-consensual porn?
If the answer is yes, please understand the difference between fantasy and reality. Lots of women have rape fantasies, and when played with the right partner, can be very hot. Few women, I think, would like to be actually raped.
That’s the gist of the whole consensual-non-consent kink.
If the answer is no, and you’re still worried about the consent level of the actresses you’re watching, then I would recommend seeking out individuals with whom you can interact with directly. OnlyFans and related sites are good for this. I’m positive that you can find someone you like.
Women’s agency
Secondly, my issue with your question is that you aren’t even leaving a space for the possibility of their pleasure.
Let me explain.
Porn is an industry (one of the only industries) where it is possible for a woman to make more money than a man. That is extraordinary in itself.
There are porn actresses who love their jobs.
There are women who love sex, love being sex objects, and love the feeling they get from making this kind of content.
To assume that everyone you’re seeing is just a helpless victim, is to deny these women agency.
By denying their agency, by denying even the possibility that they’ve made an independent choice for themselves, in a way you’re just as harmful as abusive, manipulative porn producers.
By not even allowing the space for their pleasure, you’re taking something away from them.
You’re diminishing them.
Women receive pleasure from all sorts of things, not just the things you think are okay.
Here’s my advice: don’t be a jackass. Don’t make that choice for them.
Photo by Mo from Pexels
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