Question: I want to introduce some sex toys into my marriage, but my wife isn’t really into that. I’ve suggested something like a Fleshlight, but she didn’t seem too excited by that idea. What should I do?
Answer: Wait, what? You wanted to introduce sex toys into your marriage… and you picked… a Fleshlight? The first toy you suggested was literally a replacement for your wife’s pussy?
You entitled prick.
I hope by “She wasn’t too excited by the idea,” actually means “She punched me in the junk,” because that’s what you fucking deserve. Rarely have I come across something so callous as this.
Wow, okay.
What should you do?
Let’s start with what you should have done in the first place. First, if you want to make a change in a relationship, it is your responsiblity to communicate that in a loving and caring manner. If your partner is not on board with whatever change you want to make, it is further your responsiblity to show them what a good idea it is. (But look, don’t be an asshole — a hard no is a hard no, okay?) At this point, they don’t owe you anything. They may be perfectly happy the way things are. But let’s assume that you’re in such a relationship where your partner is open minded to try new things.
You want to introduce a toy into your sex life? Alright, fine.
Start with something that’s going to make her feel good.
Yeah, I know. Clearly thinking about someone else’s pleasure is a somewhat of a foreign concept for you, but work with me for a moment.
Start by talking to her, conveniently when you’re naked together. What feels good to her? Does she like her nipples sucked, or her clit rubbed? Maybe she likes it a little bit harder, when you pinch her nipples lightly? Does she like when you slap her ass? Get something that appeals to one of these options, if this fits her. Once you’ve played with this for a while, and you’ve convinced her that sex toys can be fun and not just perverted and yucky, then you may — emphasis on may — consider introducing something that is especially for you.
If she’s enjoying her toy and you decide that it’s time to spring for your Fleshlight, still be sure to make it about her.
(I realize I am in the minority when I say that it’s hot to have a Fleshlight shoved into my needy, wet pussy — and then have my partner fuck ‘me’ and tell me how much better/wetter/tighter the toy is than my real pussy. But I digress.)
Give her all the power, here. Show her how it works (although perhaps it’s obvious), then have her use it on you. Tell her how sexy she is. How much you love her. How much you love watching her work that toy over your cock. If she’s into it, have her sit on your face while she works the toy. Tell her to slow down if you think you’re going to cum before she is. Make sure she’s enjoying herself. The more fun she’s having, the more likely you are to get a repeat performance.
That’s what you should have done.
Now, given that you’ve jumped the gun and already started off with a bad suggestion, my advice would be to first, apologize. You’re welcome to use the phrase “entilted prick” when having this conversation with her. Explain that you now realize that you’ve gone about this all wrong, and you’d like a chance to start over on the sex toy issue.
Then start eating pussy until she’s happy with you, again.
Best of luck.
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash
Do you want my advice?
By submitting this form, you are consenting to review and publication on Suggestive Words. Your identity will remain anonymous. I reserve the right to edit your question for spelling, grammar, and readability.